What a week it has been...
All week I have been assessing my students to see their individual levels. I started with reading on Tuesday. As the week progressed, I started going into the classrooms and observing my students. By Friday, I knew each of my 27 students and their names!! This is quite an accomplishment because I am terrible with names. I also started their math assessments on Friday. It's funny to take a guess at where the kids are, then test them because you find out that often your guess is WAY off.
Friday was a bit of a struggling day for me. I received a file on a student and looked at his IEP. My heart immediately dropped. This child has 8 reading goals, and from his IEP I thought he was reading on grade level. I began testing him and found at he was actually reading on a pre-primer grade level...which is pre-kindergarten!!! And the goals in the IEP say that I have to have him reading 3rd grade material by the end of the 3rd grade... I just wonder what he has been doing in school for the last 3 years?!?!!? The other students IEP are not written perfectly either, but this was the farthest stretch. I began to have a break-down. I just felt overwhelmed and discouraged. I know that my education was great and I am prepared, but I feel like I am not prepared to teach all the kids. Its a scary feeling. Mr. Sledge, my roommate, gave me this piece of advice. "Your goal is not perform miracles, just make a difference." What a great thing to hear, now that I am calm. :)
I also have some really great news. I heard that when I return to school to begin working on my masters, if I am still working at a Title I school, I will receive money from the government to help pay for my school!!
I had a great realization Friday during school. These students need SO much love and you can't touch them. Yet, I had didn't need any love at school and I got it. Isn't that backwards? When one of my students recognized me when I walked in their class, I wanted to give him a hug and ask how his day was going. Instead I said hello and asked how his day was going. It's so sad. It made me want a huge Luke Ausley hug. :)
